THE FORTYONE YEARS

‘As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul after thee, O God.’ Psalm 42.

How I sit in deep admiration and total appreciation of His goodness in my life these forty-one years!I have often wondered how I made it through. It has been days of weeping and laughing. It has been lonely and fruitful. My life has been at a hard place for a long time, wondering when it will be over.

I learnt how to worship God and stick to him like glue. I learnt how to lock myself in my room and cry, weep, talk, be quiet before Him. He is my backbone, my rock, my anchor, my defence, my keeper, my lover, my teacher, my all in all.

He never ceases to amaze me. He fills my whole being with His Presence. Anything or anyone outside of Him cannot get to the depth of me. I fly when I am with Him. He is My Healer. Ever healing my wounds and restoring what is lost.

My inner-most being ever longs for my Maker, who alone has brought me out of deep, murky waters. He has shown me mercy like no one could and lifted my head dropping from shame and pains. He has clothed me with His righteousness, dusted my forehead and place His shine upon my downcast vesture.

You changed my rags, constantly waiting around the corner for my home-coming, turned my poverty away-gave me a song, put a dance in my feet. Precious God, Holy Father! ‘My soul thirsts for God, yes for the living God: when shall I come and appear before Him?There is no God like you, no, not one! How You love me!

I lift up my tambourine, my voice-all of me in humble declaration that You alone are worthy oh God to receive honour, glory and praise! You that chart the destiny of the destitute and rejects of men, and make ‘something’ out of ‘nothing’ who is a god like our God?

Merciful Father! Ancient of days, the all-knowing, all-sufficient God! You rule in the affairs of men. How I Celebrate Your faithfulness. Your wisdom is unsearchable. Your grandeur cannot be compared with the wealthiest of men. Yet you are my Father!

Oh! How much I love you Daddy. He is never tired of having me, always opening His arms wide for me. My cheerleader, always cheering me on and giving me His hand to accompany me. My life is all yours and will never exist without you. Even when family and friends turned their backs and said I am not good and hopeless, then You said to me, ‘no not you, but you are beautiful and the best’.

The very nature of Me is in you, daughter and you glow in My light; Stand tall and know that I am here and will never leave you nor forsake you. Your word has kept me and will continue till you call me home. I love you. I am glad I was forsaken and despised by man so that you will have all of me.